Washboard Monkeys original lyrics

 

FUNKY YOUNG MONKEY

 

I was walking through the jungle, just a'wandering around

When I heard a little monkey make a funky little sound

He's the funky young monkey, the funky young monkey

Can't nobody stop him, monkey sing, monkey do

So I took the monkey with me to the recording studio

 

You should've heard the funky monkey howlin' low

He's the funky young monkey, the funky young monkey

Can't nobody stop him, monkey sing, monkey do

BRIDGE


Well, the monkey grabbed the microphone to cut a solo track

He hooted and he hollered, blew out the Marshall stack

He's a furry little rock star, he's never gonna fail


He doesn't need a mic stand, he just holds it with his tail

So the funky monkey's record is gonna be a smash

 

He only wants bananas, guess I get to keep the cash

He's the funky young monkey, the funky young monkey

Can't nobody stop him, monkey sing, monkey do



BRIDGE 2

We went to Capitol Records and to RCA


They said the monkey's music wouldn't make a dime today


They couldn't really stop him, it was so much more than fate

That gifted boogie woogie to this funky primate

Now that funky little monkey, he made it to the top

 

He's started for the stratosphere, he's never gonna stop

He's the funky young monkey, the funky young monkey

Can't nobody stop him, monkey sing, monkey do

Can't nobody stop him, monkey sing, monkey do

 

 

 

The Hunter of Men


His daddy was a drinking man
His mama, she done left
He was sold to the red man
And left for a dead man
Of compassion, he was bereft

CHORUS


He'll bring them down with gunshots
He sometimes stretches necks
Be it bullet, rope, or knife
He's the end of your life
The hunter of men, Jonah Hex
His hide done turned to leather
Hardened and tanned by the sun
He's never known love

Or God above

But only the way of the gun

CHORUS

 

INSTRUMENTAL SOLO


He bears the mark of the demon
He wears confederate grey
A price on your head
Alive or dead
If you see him, it's the end of your days
He has but two companions
Just one could steal your breath
As you sputter, cough, and choke
On his acrid gun smoke
You'll meet the other, known as Death

 

THE LITTLE FAT BOY

 

Well, the little fat boy he died last night

Of an all consuming appetite

He had too many burgers and too many pies

He had a hole in his guts and there were tears in his eyes

The little fat boy sank like a stone

And the little fat boy died all alone

Yeah, the little fat boy, he used to be thin

He didn’t stick out, he used to fit in

But then the skinny little kid became a rock’n’roll star

Nobody figured he could get so far

He was bigger than the Beatles, he was bigger than the Stones

But the little fat boy was out on his own

Yeah, he could make you cry, cry, cry, cry

Yeah, he could make you cry, cry, cry, cry

INSTRUMENTAL SOLO

Well the skinny little kid grew up to be king

Found no pleasure in material things

Well, the little fat boy didn’t have no home

And the skinny little kid had to go it alone

He had all the little people way down below

But the little fat boy had nowhere to go

Well, the little fat boy reached the end of the line

Lost and lonely on a slow decline

Well the little fat boy didn’t have no friends

There was no way for him to make amends

For all that he ate, for all that he owned

And the little fat boy died on his throne

Yeah, he could make you cry, cry, cry, cry

Yeah, he could make you cry, cry, cry, cry

 

 

Sean McKenzie’s Wake

 

When I heard the bastard died I thought it were a joke

With his golden hair and golden luck he surely couldn’t croak

He were as tough as iron horseshoes, on that make no mistake

Then I got called ‘round the pub for Sean McKenzie’s wake

It’s like ol’ Sean were driving everybody to the bar

For all got into accidents and totalled up their cars

Steven lost his steering wheel and Badger lost his brakes

That path of devastation leads to Sean McKenzie’s wake

I can’t believe ol’ Sean were dead, I thought it rather odd

Another run in with the cops, or gunned down by a broad?

But when I saw him lying there I knew how he succumbed

Sean McKenzie bought the farm while doin’ something dumb

 

CHORUS

We sat ‘round telling stories ‘bout Sean in times of life

bout stupid chances that he took we’d never told his wife

He thought that he was bulletproof and never would he die

The drugs weren’t working anymore, smoked spiders to get high

And just to make sure ‘tweren’t a gag, and we were all the butts

We laid his corpse up on the bar, ELECTRIFIED HIS NUTS

We laid him in his pine box and we bought another round

Ol’ Sean was smiling up from hell while we put him in the ground

When I heard the bastard died I really had my doubts

But Sean McKenzie’s golden luck had finally run out

He were dumb as iron horseshoes, on that make no mistake

I never thought I’d see the day of Sean McKenzie’s wake

 

CHORUS

 

 BUNNY ATE MY WEED

 

Danny came in from the barbecue

Looking for a bag of some stuff he grew

He swore he left next to the bunny cage

But the door was swung wide open

The neighbors bunny, she's a spry fur ball

He's got her while they're on vaca-- tion

The neighbors think of her as their only child

And that's why every day they call

Well, Danny checked around in his bedroom drawers

He even checked the spot behind the toi----let

And that's when he thought she ain't moving around too much

Not too much

Oh, please, bunny, don't look at me that way

Please, please, bunny, I don't wanna have to say

Bunny ate my weed, bunny ate my weed

Bunny ate my weed and she's so damn high

Bunny ate my weed, bunny ate my weed

Bunny ate my weed and she's got red--eye

Now, Danny tried to play and get her jumping round

Even tried to feed her coffee through a straw

But it just made her look like a mop without a stick

As it dripped down her little rabbit paws

She wouldn't eat carrots but she seemed to like the ice cream

She even ate it with a piece of ca-----ke

And the next day she went home looking much fatter

As the neighbors called to say

Bunny won't jump, she just watch tv

What did you do to our poor bunny

She looks like a sock puppet now

Bunny ate my weed, bunny ate my weed

Bunny ate my weed and she's so damn high

Bunny ate my weed, bunny ate my weed

Bunny ate my weed and she's so damn high

Bunny ate my weed, bunny ate my weed

Bunny ate my weed and she's got red--eye

 

 

LEVITTOWN

Levittown, my Levittown, Sweetest little heaven on the ground

It ain’t much to see but it’s home to me, My sweet Levittown

And my best girl lives in Bethpage, only half a dozen miles away

She just loved to come and see just what I really mean, by my sweet Levittown

For the one I love, I did walk far, If God had only granted me a car

But I kept her satisfied, even though I had no ride, from my sweet Levittown

 

CHORUS

SOLO

CHORUS

 

And the bossman, where I work he, he told me not to play no herky- jerky

If I’m late to work again, I won’t have a dime to spend in my sweet Levittown

Now I can walk, And I can run, but sometimes you just got to have some fun

So when that clock read ten-o-four and I was strolling through that door

You know I still work in Levittown.

 

 

 

BASURA SOLAMENTE

 

There goes the gringo who knows all the words on the menu

He'll try steal your woman using all the words on the menu

He'll say quesadilla several times with too much tongue

He'll try to merengue but look like a chihuahua with worms

When he was a chico, he met a yellow haired miss

Into an alley, he crept up behind for a kiss

She knocked him unconscious, and he woke with a daring new plan

He'd sweet talk the women by saying the words on the can

 

CHORUS

Basura solamente, basura solamente

He knows these words and more

Basura solamente

 

In high school he'd recite the words to pictures of Spain

But only las palabras sucios stuck to his brain

He thought he was Don Juan and oh so macho

But the ladies all just called him El Borracho

Out for the night he goes with the other accountants

You can tell they work hard by the paper cuts on their hands

They drink piña coladas and end up swimming in fountains

After getting kicked out for trying to sing with the band

 

Basura solamente, basura solamente

He knows these words and more

Basura solamente

 

He hopped in a taxi, said take me to el malacon

But somehow the words came out el maricon

He walked in the bar and tried to order cerveza

And he got them all free, cause what he said was cabesa

J’aime tes pamplemousses, he said in France

To a train conductor who kicked him square in the pants

Vorrei accarazzare la tua scimia, he said in Rome

To a barista, before taking a mug to his dome

You could tell he'd been on vacation, not by a tan

But by bruises and cuts he'd collected since leaving San Fran

 

Basura solamente, basura solamente

He knows these words and more

Basura solamente

Basura solamente, basura solamente

He knows these words and more

Basura solamente

 

 

KNITTIN TWEAKERS

 

I was on my porch a-sitting, just watching tweakers knittin

They'd made a cozy for the house next door

There was evidential proof they'd done started on the roof

And knitted all the way down to the floor

They were higher than a kite, they'd been knitting all damn night

Cause that crazy thing was not there yesterday

I said What in tarnation? They said Redneck insulation!

I said As you do, and went about my way

 

CHORUS

 

Knittin tweakers, knittin tweakers

They'll make you damn near anything you need

Knittin tweakers, knittin tweakers

The drawback is you pay them off in speed

 

They wouldn't go to bed, so instead they built a shed

I say a shed, but it was bigger than my barn

I said Y’all best not be cooking, they said Naw, we’s just a-looking

For a dryer place for us to keep our yarn

 

I don't know what you call it when you get yarn by the pallet

A ton of white and half a ton of blue

I said whatcha making now, and they done showed me how

They made a Christmas sweater for Shamu

 

Knittin tweakers, knittin tweakers

They'll make you shit you didn't know you need

Knittin tweakers, knittin tweakers

That's what you do when your thing's yarn and speed

 

SOLO

There was no use to deny it, the neighbors house was quiet

I hadn't seen them tweakers round for days

But, I nearly blew a fuse when I saw them on the news

They'd made the guys on Rushmore four berets

They'd exhausted all their cash and, them tweakers were a-crashing

I said A week of sleep is what you need

You can relax in my sauna, but I've got no marijuana

cuz I think your stupid bunny ate my weed

 

Knittin tweakers, knittin tweakers

Their scale is aggrandized, yes indeed

Knittin tweakers, knittin tweakers

The drawback is you pay them off in speed

They'll make you shit you didn't know you need

That's what you do when your thing's yarn and speed

 

 

The taste of crow

 

How'd you like the taste of crow?

This is some thing I must know

So just admit to me before you up and go

How'd you like the taste of crow?

 

Did you like your humble pie?

The empty promises and lies

You drink yourself to tears and still you wonder why

Did you like your humble pie?

BRIDGE

You told things that were not true

I couldn't possibly know you

You caused my strain, my pain

You plainly could drive me insane

I couldn't help but write this song

You cannot help but know you're wrong

What's it like to eat your words

When you look back on what's occurred

I hope you feel foolish, 'cause now you look absurd

What's it like to eat your words

SOLO

You told things that were not true

I couldn't possibly know you

You caused my strain, my pain

You plainly could drive me insane

I couldn't help but write this song

You cannot help but know you're wrong

How'd you like the taste of crow?

This is some thing I must know

So just admit to me before you up and go

How'd you like the taste of crow?

How'd you like the taste of crow?

How'd you like the taste of crow?

 

Muscle Car Man

 

My first set of wheels was my daddy's Mustang

The engine choked and sputtered but the radio sang

That mustang was a beater, it was really a wreck

Well just to keep her running took my whole paycheck

I wanted to come up and live a little larger

So I went and bought myself a ’69 Charger

Cause cruising in a Prius ain't gonna get no girls

I'm a muscle car man in a hybrid world

Well I cruised that Charger up and down the Miracle Mile

Had the ladies heads a turning and I did it in style

I was lucky with the ladies and winning every bet

beating every barracuda, and vexing every 'Vette

There ain't a car in town that my Charger can't beat

But it's most important feature is a big back seat

There ain't no room in a Smart car to make her toes curl

I'm a muscle car man in a hybrid world

 

BRIDGE

 

Well, I've always been a Maverick, a Challenger too

Your car might save the planet, but what's it doing for you

Nothing gets your motor running like an engines roar

With the pedal to the metal and four on the floor

Well, I took that cherry Charger to a classic car show

I met a Firebird that drove GTO

She had a two tone paint job of candy red and pearl

Now she's my muscle car mama in a hybrid world

 

INSTRUMENTAL SOLO

 

Well, I've always been a Maverick, a Challenger too

Your car might save the planet, but what's it doing for you

Nothing gets your motor running like an engines roar

With the pedal to the metal and four on the floor

Well, me and that firebird got a kid of our own

He drives a hybrid Civic, and he steers with his phone

Every time I see that whiny punk, I kinda wanna hurl

I'm a muscle car man in a hybrid world

 

 

FAT KITTY

 

CHORUS

Oh-oh fat kitty ram-a-lam

Oh-oh fat kitty ram-a-lam

You keep getting bigger and you don’t give a damn

Fat kitty ram-a-lam

 

I wake up every morning and his dish is dry

Mewling so pathetic, make a grown man cry

You’d think it’d been a week since I filled his dish

But he’s picking his teeth with the bones of a fish

 

CHORUS

 

Turns up his nose to the food in the can

He wants whatever comes out of your frying pan

He sits around the place like he rules the roost

Hey, hey, fat kitty, that’s a huge caboose

 

CHORUS

BRIDGE

 

He barely even notices the food in his bowl

He never bothers chewing, he just swallows it whole

When I finally got tired of his fat kitty bitching

I walked into the kitchen, he was frying a pigeon

 

Well, when he goes a sneaking out at night

It’s just to try to satiate his appetite

He lays there staring at me like a bump on a log

But now the neighbourhood is missing dogs

 

CHORUS TWICE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Buy Our Music

 

 Washboard Monkeys, Year of the Monkey

 

 

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I Wanna Be Your Cowboy

Built to Fail

Bunny Ate My Weed

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Knittin' Tweakers

I Wanna Be Like You

Fat Kitty

 Old El Paso

Frankie and Albert

 Louisiana Fairytale

Hallelu at CD release

Sweet Little Dreams

Lucky Ball and Chain

Muscle Car Man

 Please Don't Bury Me

You Shook Me

Authority at CD release

Levittown

 

 Authority

Bang Bang

Hallelu

Nobody Loves You Like Me

Psycho Killer

Basura Solamente

Picture Gallery

  • Bobbin

Dave

Jerry

 

Karl

Upcoming Gigs

September 24 7:00 pm.  Whirlows.  1926 Pacific Ave Stockton, CA 95204

 

October 8 7:30 pm.  Mile Wine.  2113 Pacific Ave, Stockton, CA 95204

 

October 22 7:30 pm.  Centrale Kitchen and Bar. 1825 Pacific Ave Stockton, CA 95204

 

November 5 8:30 pm.  Whiskey Barrel Tavern.  151 W Alder St. Stockton, CA 95204